If Christmas feels hard rather than happy, you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. For many people living with a disability or a mental health condition, the holidays bring loneliness, stress and broken routines. This guide explains why the season can be so tough, gives practical ways to look after your mental health, and lists where to get support, including helplines that are open over the holidays.
The ads and social media are full of perfect family gatherings, and there is an unspoken expectation that everyone should feel joyful. If you feel lonely, anxious or full of dread instead, it is okay. It is okay to not be okay. Whether you are an NDIS participant in Sydney, a family member, or someone who simply finds the festive season overwhelming, we hope this guide offers some comfort and a sense that support is there.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 000.
Why Christmas Can Be Particularly Challenging
Naming why this time of year is hard can ease the shame of struggling when you are “supposed” to be happy.
The pressure to be happy: If you are already living with low mood, hopelessness or constant worry, being expected to put on a cheerful face can feel impossible. And if everyone else seems happy, it is easy to wonder what is wrong with you, which can deepen feelings of shame and loneliness.
Disruption to routines: For many people with psychosocial disabilities, autism or other conditions, routine is a big source of stability. Over Christmas, shop hours change, public transport runs differently, support times may shift, and the usual rhythm of the week disappears. That can be unsettling and can make anxiety and stress worse.
Loneliness and social isolation: Christmas is sold as a time for family and togetherness. If you do not have close family, your relationships are strained, or you are cut off from others, the season can be a painful reminder of what is missing. For NDIS participants who already face isolation because of disability, Christmas can make it feel worse.
Financial stress: Gifts, gatherings and outings cost money. If you live on a tight budget, the extra cost of Christmas can cause real worry, and guilt if you cannot give or take part the way you feel you “should”.
Grief and loss: Grief can feel especially raw at Christmas. You might be missing someone who has died, grieving changes in your health or abilities, or grieving the life you thought you would have. The focus on family and tradition can make those losses harder to bear.
Complicated family dynamics: For some people, Christmas means time with family members they find difficult or even harmful. The pressure to attend, “keep the peace” or pretend everything is fine can be exhausting and can bring up anxiety, low mood or memories of past trauma.
If any of these sound familiar, your feelings make sense. You are not being ungrateful, difficult or weak. You are reacting in an understandable way to a genuinely hard time of year.
The Reality of Loneliness During the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
Loneliness is not only about being physically alone. It is about feeling disconnected, unseen, or as though you do not belong.
For many NDIS participants, loneliness is a year-round struggle. Disability can bring physical and communication barriers, as well as stigma and misunderstanding. At Christmas, when everyone else seems to be celebrating together, those barriers can feel even bigger.
You can also feel lonely in a room full of people. If you are at a family gathering but feel judged, misunderstood or like you have to hide who you are, that is loneliness too. What matters is the quality of connection, not the number of people around you.
If you feel lonely this Christmas, please hear this: it is not a reflection of your worth. Loneliness is often the result of circumstances and barriers outside your control. Connection and support are possible, and you deserve both.
How Psychosocial Support Can Help During the Holiday Season
NDIS psychosocial support is help with everyday life for people whose mental health condition affects how they live day to day. It means having someone in your corner who understands that Christmas might be hard, who does not judge you for struggling, and who can help with practical things as well as offer a steady, caring presence.
Every one of our support workers holds a university degree in psychology or a related discipline and has completed mental health and trauma-informed training. That background helps them notice when someone is struggling and respond in a calm, non-judgemental way. Support work is not therapy or crisis care. Where you have a treating team, such as a GP or psychologist, we work alongside them with your consent.
During the Christmas period, psychosocial support might look like:
- Someone to listen: Talking with someone who listens without judgement and reminds you that it is okay to find Christmas hard. Sometimes being heard eases the weight of loneliness.
- Keeping routines going: Working with you to keep as much routine and structure as you can, even when everything around you changes. That might mean keeping your usual support times where possible, sticking with familiar activities, or creating small, predictable rituals.
- Social connection: Help to find meaningful social connection, such as going to a community event, visiting a favourite place, or having a chat over a cup of tea. Connection does not have to mean a big family gathering. It can be small and quiet.
- Coping strategies: Support to use the coping strategies that work for you, or that your treating team has suggested, for anxiety, low mood or overwhelming feelings. It can also help to make a simple plan for what to do and who to call if things feel too hard.
- Less isolation: A familiar, reliable presence at a time when other supports, like day programs or community groups, may be closed or running less often.
The aim is not just to “get through” Christmas, but to look after your wellbeing in a way that suits you.
Practical Strategies for Managing Mental Health During Christmas
There are also things you can do for yourself. They are not about forcing yourself to be happy, but about making the season more manageable.
Give yourself permission to opt out: You do not have to go to everything. If a gathering or party feels like too much, it is okay to say no. You do not owe anyone an explanation, but if you want one, “I’m not up to it this year, but thank you for thinking of me” is enough.
Create your own traditions: Christmas does not have to look a certain way. You might watch favourite films, cook a meal you love, go for a walk somewhere peaceful, or treat it like any other day. There is no right way to spend Christmas.
Limit social media: Social media at Christmas is full of polished pictures that look nothing like most people’s real lives. If scrolling makes you feel worse, take a break. Remove the apps for a few days or set time limits.
Reach out for connection: When you feel lonely, reaching out can be hard, but even a short conversation can help. Call a friend, message someone you trust, or contact one of the services listed below.
Stick to routines where you can: Some disruption is unavoidable, but try to keep your core routines: getting up at your usual time, eating regular meals, taking your medication as prescribed, or going for your usual walk. Small, steady habits can give you a sense of control.
Be kind to yourself: If you are not coping as well as you hoped, or you have a hard day, please be gentle with yourself. You are doing your best in difficult circumstances. There is no shame in finding Christmas hard.
You Don’t Have to Face Christmas Alone: Reaching Out for Support
Support is available, and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
If you are an NDIS participant and you are struggling, talk to your support worker or your support coordinator. Let them know Christmas is hard for you and ask what help is available. If you do not have psychosocial support in your plan and think it would help, raise it with your support coordinator or the NDIA. If your needs have changed in a big and ongoing way, you (or your plan nominee or child representative) can ask for a plan reassessment.
Lanara doesn’t close over Christmas and New Year, and support continues on public holidays at public holiday rates. In the weeks before Christmas, we check in with the people we support about their plans, and we can arrange extra hours if you ask. It still helps to talk to us early about your holiday arrangements so we can plan together. Lanara is not a crisis service. If someone is in immediate danger, call 000.
There are also other support services available:
- Lifeline: 13 11 14, or text 0477 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support)
- Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7 phone and online counselling for anyone affected by suicide)
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (24/7 phone and online mental health support)
- 13YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander crisis supporters)
- QLife: 1800 184 527 (LGBTIQ+ peer support, 3pm to 9pm every day)
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (24/7 support for children and young people)
- SANE Australia: 1800 187 263 (mental health information and support, Monday to Friday, 10am to 8pm)
- Carer Gateway: 1800 422 737 (support for carers, Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm; emergency respite 24/7)
- Carers NSW: 02 9280 4744 (information and support for carers and families, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm)
Hours can change over public holidays, so check the service’s website if you are unsure. There is no shame in using these services. Reaching out when you are struggling is a brave thing to do.
How Lanara Supports Participants Through the Christmas Period
Lanara is a family-owned and operated provider, so we understand how much family, connection and familiar faces matter, especially at this time of year.
Our approach during the holiday season includes:
- Familiar support: We aim for you to have a regular support worker, because consistency and familiarity matter, particularly during times of change and stress.
- Planning ahead together: Holiday needs can change. Talk to us early about your holiday arrangements and anything you would like help with, such as a particular day or event, and we will work with you on what is possible.
- A focus on wellbeing: Our psychology-informed team understands that Christmas is not just about practical tasks. It is also about how you are feeling, and we keep that in mind in every session.
- A listening ear: Sometimes what you need most is someone who listens without judgement. Our support workers make time for that during your regular support.
As a small, family-owned provider, we want you to feel like a person, not a number, at Christmas and every other day of the year.
A Message of Hope
If you are struggling right now, we want to leave you with some hope. The Christmas season passes, and feelings that seem overwhelming today can ease. You are not alone, even when it feels that way. There are people who care and services ready to help, and you deserve kindness and support.
This Christmas, be gentle with yourself and do what you need to do to get through. You matter.
If you would like to talk to someone at Lanara about support over the Christmas period, please contact us, email info@lanara.com.au, or call 1300 152 627 (1300-1-LANARA). We aim to respond within one business day, so it helps to get in touch well before the holidays.